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silentshadow90's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
by i see fat people / 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
by Awkward / 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm / Bahrain / Health
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
by fieldmarshalclitter / 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Health
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
by I'm stupid / 11/25/2012 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work
by duhasiangirl / 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML
by nolove / 11/14/2012 at 5:36am / Australia / Intimacy
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
by KtSue / 11/12/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Health
- Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…