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silentshadow90

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 9:15pm) | Search for a member

silentshadow90

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1748
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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silentshadow90's page activity

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silentshadow90's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47597) - you deserved it (4085)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

#20875421
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (8974)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (99364)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46678) - you deserved it (4630)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60020) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56549) - you deserved it (6019)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53171) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54241) - you deserved it (18223)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (3926)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58663) - you deserved it (3618)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (9184)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (3103)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)



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