silentshadow90

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Offline (the 10/04/2016 at 3:49am)

silentshadow90

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3731
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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silentshadow90's page activity

Visits<b>KarSkittle</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 4:17pm<b>smartsamsam</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 4:22am<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:35am<b>arielg</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:06am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Alexeon</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:51pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:43pm<b>pbnjrox</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>jordynsage</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 5:47pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 7:14pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:16pm<b>lee009_10</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 2:49pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:50pm<b>turiro</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:30pm

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silentshadow90's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

by sillydoggy / 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm / United States / Animals

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

by poolgirl789 / 09/03/2013 at 2:30am / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

by mylifesucks / 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Health