silentshadow90

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Offline (the 05/29/2016 at 3:41pm)

silentshadow90

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2922
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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silentshadow90's page activity

Visits<b>smartsamsam</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 4:22am<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:35am<b>arielg</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:06am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Alexeon</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:51pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:43pm<b>pbnjrox</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>jordynsage</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 5:47pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 7:14pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:16pm<b>lee009_10</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 2:49pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:50pm<b>turiro</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:30pm

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silentshadow90's favorite FMLs

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 1:36am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

by Christian / 09/28/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Love

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

by AnAwesomePerson7 / 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

by nicetomeetyou2 / 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 11:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous