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shutupmichaela

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shutupmichaela
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shutupmichaela's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (6431)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (8260)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (7510)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (37129)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45177) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37122) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43114) - you deserved it (6979)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (4445)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (6020)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (4318)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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