About shutupmichaela : sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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shutupmichaela's favorite FMLs
by Shitty day / 05/24/2016 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML
by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by bertiebeth / 08/02/2014 at 1:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/13/2014 at 5:34am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
- Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there… Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl… Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at…
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…