showmeyourears

Search for a member

Online

showmeyourears

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1058
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

showmeyourears's page activity

Visits<b>athdos99</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 11:20pm<b>IntrepidPig</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:19am<b>jill97</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:17am<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:25am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:23am<b>harleyquinnxx</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:54pm<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:01am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:21am<b>Vettin</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:42am<b>prettychic2001</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:09pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 7:18pm<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:54pm<b>valavellan</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:53pm<b>tamannab97</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:10pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:12pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 2:39am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:48pm

Fucked!<b>harleyquinnxx</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:54am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 6:22am

showmeyourears's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of showmeyourears's badges

showmeyourears's favorite FMLs

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

by ChangoFett / 05/26/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

by a hex upon your anus, sir / 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy