Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shinymaster3000

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 5:13am) | Search for a member

shinymaster3000

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 963
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shinymaster3000 : Searching for the right girl

shinymaster3000's page activity

Visits<b>ZiaLynn</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 5:18pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>nela25</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:16am<b>MiddleEastern</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>N0SC0P3DURM0M</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>beefbowl</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:23pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:25am<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:08am<b>TicciTobyRodgers</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:53am<b>WTF_BRAIN</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:39pm<b>sekisho</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:46pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Janiney</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:32am<b>LuisssS</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 12:00am<b>Always_Hungry</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Caljoones</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:10am<b>steveboyfloyd</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:03am

shinymaster3000's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of shinymaster3000's badges

shinymaster3000's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (3484)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16115) - you deserved it (40925)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (33016)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (6407)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (2355)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31579) - you deserved it (23237)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

#21359722
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/20/2015 at 8:35am - love - by FunGhoost - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (36068)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (4309)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14174) - you deserved it (42745)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: