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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2603
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:30pm<b>camelopardalisx</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:11pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>CoolNoodle</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:00pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 2:01am<b>mineller</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:15pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:28pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:43am<b>kaet</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:33am<b>nominaski</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:40pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:37pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:48pm

Fucked!<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:01am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:10am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:15pm

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

by oped01 / 10/17/2016 at 8:15pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

by chrisinator / 10/11/2016 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML

by Loose Ends / 09/14/2016 at 7:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

by Sadmom / 09/13/2016 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

by 4fingerdiscount / 09/13/2016 at 7:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

by Gottabekidding / 09/08/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML

by mermaidkeels / 09/08/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML

by LoveStinks / 08/18/2016 at 6:56am / Love

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

by Ummm / 08/03/2016 at 3:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote 'You no nothing John Snow'. It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML

by Heknowsnothing / 07/13/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals