shea627

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shea627

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3088
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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shea627's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:36pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:23am<b>dlashayj2</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:52am<b>serpent_king</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:38pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 2:07pm<b>epeeftw</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:52pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Ash1179</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 6:49pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Clumsy4life</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:50am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:29pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:52pm<b>db32</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 2:22pm<b>conman531</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:05pm<b>razi1</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:35am<b>Metalsmf</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:09am

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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shea627's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

by injuredwifelady / 02/23/2016 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Animals

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

by legit247 / 05/10/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health