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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
shank39's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Work
by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
by choke on a dick, sir / 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML
by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Work
Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm / Belize (Belize) / Miscellaneous
by lonelyloser / 02/04/2013 at 2:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…