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shanemaximo

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shanemaximo
  • Town/Country : Destin, FL, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1339
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shanemaximo : I enjoy cock fighting, illegal offshore gambling, illegal INshore gambling, alcohol and very soft linens.

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shanemaximo's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (28615)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33535) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18484) - you deserved it (3425)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45768) - you deserved it (7745)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33749) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6412) - you deserved it (20956)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (27036)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (2315)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59675) - you deserved it (2783)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (4137)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States



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