Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shadowofbong

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 3:48pm) | Search for a member

shadowofbong

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 350
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shadowofbong : Just here for the laughs... so no messages

shadowofbong's page activity

Visits<b>Johnatron</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:27am<b>Gallik01</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:19pm<b>tasbaby</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:40am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:19pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:29pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:12am<b>jaybaldi</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:47am<b>MorbidAngels</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:02am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:15pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 7:47am<b>thatepicguy</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>WTF_BRAIN</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:17am<b>muzy</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:18pm<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:46am<b>peacheso</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>minauto</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:41am<b>porschefox2014</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:31am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:48pm

shadowofbong's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of shadowofbong's badges

shadowofbong's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (2273)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (2572)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32304) - you deserved it (4925)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (322) - you deserved it (48636)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29771) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (6893)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (13172)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (5683)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49064) - you deserved it (10759)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36561) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: