About shadow2903 : Hey I'm Lexi, I'm 16 and live in gorgeous Seattle, prettiest city in the Pacific Northwest :) I always make time to check out FML, there are some truly tragic/hilarious/stupid stories here that I never tire of reading. hmu! :)
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shadow2903's favorite FMLs
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML
by Interrupted / 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
by oopsies / 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
by Becky / 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by andi0804 / 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 07/10/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kittydead / 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…