About sethmayer9 : Love being Lazy and playing videogames and yet i play football, and love outdoors. If u want talk or something then kik me @sethmayer9. Thats all i got. You can stop reading this now. Seriously quit it.
sethmayer9's FML badges
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sethmayer9's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML
by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by soldierboy / 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/15/2010 at 9:12am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
by robinhoood / 04/20/2009 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have… Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for… Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I…