sethe99

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:20pm)

sethe99

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  • Number of visits : 505
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sethe99's page activity

Visits<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:01pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:56pm<b>salvorican</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:55am

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sethe99's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

by StephLo / 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

by AnnoyedWoman / 08/17/2014 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

by facefuckedguy / 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

by poolfail / 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

by ms98 / 08/05/2014 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm / Germany (Hessen) / Animals

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

by fuckendog / 07/25/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals