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selectiveamnesia

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selectiveamnesia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 55
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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selectiveamnesia's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (5672)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42448) - you deserved it (3657)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (3319)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15274) - you deserved it (5567)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (47520)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (44857)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69226) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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