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seanphe34

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seanphe34

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seanphe34's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nigt of eavy drinking to fine ma girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called er last nigt an told er tat someone as beautiful as er could be wit someone way better tan me. Se agreed. FML

#20897714
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (16235)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:33am - love - by drinkdrankdrunk (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed fir the first time ever!! He glanced at me , then started playing with a Rubik's cube!! FML

#20885155
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (6347)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today I told my boyfriend I lovd him. He told me he was a dinosaur.

#20883504
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you deserved it (5375)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

TODAY, I ASKED MY GIRLFRIEND TO MARRY ME. SHE PRETENDED LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. FML

Today, mah grandmother opend the bathroom door to fine me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convincd that I was eating mah own shit an will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (40446)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (27684)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them looool duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around lyk a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today , I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog , an when his name was calld , my dog got so excitd that he jumpd face-frst into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49635) - you deserved it (3961)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

today mah girlfriend invitd me over fir the first time. I pulld up to her house just to be denid at the front door by her mum. She'd invitd me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it fir her. mega FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54096) - you deserved it (3439)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, At My Boyfriend's Broter's Ouse, I Desperately Needed To Poop. After Finising My Business, I Realized Te Toilet Wouldn't Flus. I Ad To Pull My Poop Out, Wrap It In TP And Make An Excuse To Go Outside To Trow It In A Bus. Te Neigbor Was Watcing. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (11457)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I Woke Up An Found $30 Slippd Under Door With A Note That Read, "Please Buy Yourself A Quieter Vibrator. -Mom An Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (24034)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to get mah golden retriever to stand in front of our church fir a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought mah dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg an began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (8975)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" an I'm 26!! Truth is I've been in the same relationship fir over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59955) - you deserved it (6660)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, mah sister announcd that she and her boyfriend r getting marrid . Her boyfriend is mah husband . We're not even legally divorcd yet . fat looool FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66724) - you deserved it (4016)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend . He confessed that he was too . FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (22395)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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