About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, but I'm way to lazy to cook usually do I also know my way around a microwave. I've seen almost every major punk, ska, and rap show to come through my area. I also religiously follow three sports. take a guess at them and hit me up of you're bored.
sdroze1389's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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sdroze1389's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by not paid enough / 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work
by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML
by -__- / 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by thanks_world / 12/26/2013 at 1:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by infinitegrace / 12/24/2013 at 4:46pm / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…