schpanki

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schpanki

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1578
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schpanki : I just realised I have had the text "Awesomesauce" as description for a looooong time. I wonder if anyone ever read it...

Oh well, I like stuff, dont like stuff, yadayada.

Dont know what to write here. Bye.

schpanki's page activity

Visits<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:36pm<b>possibilites67</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:05am<b>wotfukm8</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:17am<b>Bluepan</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:56am<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 1:16am<b>andres969</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:53pm<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:43am<b>Viriie</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:18pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:34pm<b>vetgirl23</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:20pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 2:41am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:53pm<b>projectem7</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:15am<b>Teresalove</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 8:43pm

Fucked!<b>andres969</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:53am

schpanki's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of schpanki's badges

schpanki's favorite FMLs

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

by Sebastian20 / 05/08/2013 at 7:05am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

by thatonegirl.SBS. / 09/29/2012 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

by Eric Ngan / 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm / Singapore / Animals

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

by DarkDolly / 02/04/2012 at 11:39am / France / Transportation

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

by ac-hoo / 02/04/2012 at 9:52am / India (Delhi) / Love

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

by fmT719 / 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous