About scarman : Fan of Arrow and Legend of Korra, Star Wars Rebels and Flash. I enjoy EDM, but I don't hold a grudge against any genre of music. Feel free to message me!
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scarman's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm / Belgium / Love
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health
by Rebecca / 05/21/2012 at 10:11am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my… Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with… Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I…