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saudor's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
saudor's favorite FMLs
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sericane / 03/04/2016 at 3:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
by davetherave1983 / 09/09/2015 at 1:09am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
by Doesn't Matter Had Sex / 09/08/2015 at 10:37pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Oopsie / 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm / United States / Intimacy
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
by Teste / 07/15/2015 at 6:25am / Spain / Intimacy
by DrLight / 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML
by ihateeverything / 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love