sasonzal

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sasonzal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3169
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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sasonzal's page activity

Visits<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:00am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:41am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:25am<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:15am<b>blairwaldorfbass</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:27am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:26pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:45am<b>daboonki</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:47pm

sasonzal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of sasonzal's badges

sasonzal's favorite FMLs

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

by best_friend / 07/25/2011 at 2:43am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

by jab43 / 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

by blah / 07/21/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Health

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

by Miriden / 07/19/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

by Stephanie / 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 8:12pm / United States / Work

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love