sarcasticSOB

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sarcasticSOB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 930
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sarcasticSOB : Hey! I check fml often so message me if you want and I'll reply! Have a good day!

sarcasticSOB's page activity

Visits<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:17pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:03pm<b>xXAHXx112</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>Louis2375</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:41pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:19pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 8:58pm<b>1sweetsin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:07am<b>KaylaMarie00</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:19pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Neandertal</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:33am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 2:39am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:18pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 8:24pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 8:01am<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 7:30am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:27am

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sarcasticSOB's favorite FMLs

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

by ElodieUNU / 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm / France / Love

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

by bubblebuttfuckfart / 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love