sarcasm_isme

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sarcasm_isme

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1447
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sarcasm_isme : in a nutshell: im a fitness instructor, am married to an amateur body builder and we run an anti steroid campaign through our gym. Juice Heads go home!!

sarcasm_isme's page activity

Visits<b>Scootythedog</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 1:30pm<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:12pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:34am<b>papashaan</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:13pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 8:09pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:20am<b>tattooedcowboy</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:07pm<b>cjspenny</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:18pm<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:42am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 1:36am<b>FairJ1025</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 7:56pm<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 7:51pm<b>jep1023</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 8:39am<b>Coldinside</b> - the 09/03/2012 at 9:20am<b>LookOnBrightSide</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 2:28am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 5:58am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:49pm

sarcasm_isme's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sarcasm_isme's badges

sarcasm_isme's favorite FMLs

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

by FistFighter / 04/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Health

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health