About sarcasm_isme : in a nutshell: im a fitness instructor, am married to an amateur body builder and we run an anti steroid campaign through our gym. Juice Heads go home!!
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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sarcasm_isme's favorite FMLs
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
by FistFighter / 04/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health
Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Health
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…