sarcasmOffended

Search for a member

sarcasmOffended

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sarcasmOffended : Message me if you atleast like ONE of my interests:

Karneval
Homestuck
Block B
QuestionableContent
Naruto
Aoharaido
Drawing
Editing
Sims2

sarcasmOffended's page activity

Visits<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:55pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:01pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:59pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:38am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:57pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:42pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:55pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:27am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:23pm<b>therosh</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:40pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:44pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:22pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:51pm<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:27pm

sarcasmOffended's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of sarcasmOffended's badges

sarcasmOffended's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

by Broccolliboyy / 06/18/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

by Dingbat / 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

by thatisfuckedup / 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous