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sarawrs's favorite FMLs
by psd60 / 12/06/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
by Awkward / 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm / Bahrain / Health
Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
by Neutered / 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
by shark / 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML
by minime94 / 11/15/2012 at 1:35am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML
by sarahijklmnop / 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
by racking-leaves / 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…