sarahhanlen

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sarahhanlen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 687
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sarahhanlen : My names Sarah obviously,

sarahhanlen's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:34am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:52pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:32am<b>AJ_27_13</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:25am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:55am<b>s1s1</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:50am<b>jettli128</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:25pm<b>cba7</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:53pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:14am<b>JessicaFLovve</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:21am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:11am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:38pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:38pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:32pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:36am<b>DeeTrain420</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:40am<b>beach_boy1992</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:32pm

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sarahhanlen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

by cheap / 06/18/2014 at 9:42am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Money

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

by ugh / 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love