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sarah_baas

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sarah_baas

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  • Number of visits : 5
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sarah_baas's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60461) - you deserved it (8980)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56358) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (30195)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (1994)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

#18001464
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (52614)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47pm - health - by kp - Australia

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7730) - you deserved it (58905)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (7128)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58396) - you deserved it (13603)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (2211)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47064) - you deserved it (10907)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53739) - you deserved it (2636)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (222914)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79534) - you deserved it (8052)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (4878)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)



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