sarah2144

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Offline (the 03/02/2016 at 11:17am)

sarah2144

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10845
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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sarah2144's page activity

Visits<b>catsrule307</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 8:53am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:43pm<b>samchaps19</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:13am<b>SamKiwi</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:42pm<b>captainriggins</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:09pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:21am<b>kaed</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:39pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:09am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:00pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:19pm<b>mkaylak</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:52pm<b>loveestt</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:23am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:50am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:59am<b>nightlyblues86</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:56am<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:19pm

sarah2144's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of sarah2144's badges

sarah2144's favorite FMLs

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

by Puppysit88 / 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love