sarah2144

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Offline (the 03/02/2016 at 11:17am)

sarah2144

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10717
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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sarah2144's page activity

Visits<b>catsrule307</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 8:53am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:43pm<b>samchaps19</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:13am<b>SamKiwi</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:42pm<b>captainriggins</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:09pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:21am<b>kaed</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:39pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:09am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:00pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:19pm<b>mkaylak</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:52pm<b>loveestt</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:23am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:50am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:59am<b>nightlyblues86</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:56am<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:19pm

sarah2144's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of sarah2144's badges

sarah2144's favorite FMLs

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

by Heww / 09/28/2009 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

by GodDaughter / 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

by Charlie / 09/08/2009 at 6:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

by GasAttack / 09/07/2009 at 9:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

by Embarassed / 08/30/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 11:53am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

by mrteacher / 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

by bunny / 08/16/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous