sarah1024

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sarah1024

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarah1024's page activity

Visits<b>Qandol</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:43am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:35pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:08pm<b>bigken0211</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:04am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:19pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:14pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:16am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:54pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:12am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:16am<b>papashaan</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:51pm<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:21pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:23pm<b>ndad79</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:09pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:04pm<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:29pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:33pm

sarah1024's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of sarah1024's badges

sarah1024's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

by kise / 11/28/2012 at 1:20am / Health

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

by mdp624 / 08/16/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

by fuckall / 01/19/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Oregon) / Money