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sarah1024's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
sarah1024's favorite FMLs
Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals
by mdp624 / 08/16/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by fuckall / 01/19/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Oregon) / Money
- Today, at 16, I had my first swimming lesson. I have to do it for physiotherapy and really didn't… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because…