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Today, while sleeping over at mah girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back an once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light cummed on an at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. mega FML
Today, I was canging in te back seat of ma new trucken it startd to roll backwards. In ma aste to reac te brake, I it ma ead an fell face first into te steeringeel. I ten realizd tat it wasn't rolling. Te car next to me was just pulling out. FML
Today, mah brother's looool girlfriend an mah girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels an a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs an a vibrator.
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015