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saphiremarie

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saphiremarie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 December 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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saphiremarie's page activity

Visits<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:02am

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saphiremarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49573) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38489) - you deserved it (15144)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55220) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31598) - you deserved it (61917)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (4496)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54123) - you deserved it (7061)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57782) - you deserved it (4867)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (3055)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44513) - you deserved it (8557)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70986) - you deserved it (9363)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45187) - you deserved it (10403)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (23472)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (6218)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML



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