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sandyclaus's favorite FMLs
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by nevergettingajob / 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm / Canada / Work
by Lonely Gay / 02/22/2012 at 4:37am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML
by mishie1 / 02/21/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML
by marriedtoaretard / 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Transportation
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…