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sandiiiiiii

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sandiiiiiii
  • Town/Country : St Pete
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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sandiiiiiii's favorite FMLs

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (1219)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

#19199662
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2121)

On 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by imawesome - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (40667)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (4641)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (3945)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (5935)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

#15036556
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (5000)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Username - China

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (10219)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40578) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (34212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (25747) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

#14473900
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/05/2011 at 11:41am - work - by x_udontknowme_x (woman) - United States (Florida)



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