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samual

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samual

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 724
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samual's page activity

Visits<b>rydin10</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:21am<b>tokiohotel2012</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 1:38pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 1:06am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:12pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:47pm

samual's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

samual's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (6986)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8837) - you deserved it (39497)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17070) - you deserved it (27698)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60072) - you deserved it (6412)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (9951)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70493) - you deserved it (12131)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (14754)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

#6209512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

#6186259
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (5608)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (16885)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

#6153235
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (7417)

On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

#5924730
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (30135)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (4349)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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