samreimer

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samreimer

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2582
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About samreimer : I love guitar hero, and hate pickles.

samreimer's page activity

Visits<b>LittleStorm</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:04pm<b>mmaarrrggoo</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:09pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:19pm<b>maryoo7</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:06am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:25am<b>LoveBug18905</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:00pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:19pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:23pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 9:12am<b>stickysyrup</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:29pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:12pm<b>AnonymousFML77</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:38pm<b>xninix</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:06pm<b>KitchenPig</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:33pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:06am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:37pm<b>wafflewolf</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:28pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:19am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:23am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:06am<b>ireallylikecats</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:51pm

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samreimer's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

by fun / 06/16/2013 at 12:54am / United States / Love

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy