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samara12's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm / United States / Health
by nevergettingajob / 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm / Canada / Work
Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
by Bellend / 02/21/2012 at 2:00am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/20/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML
by preggo / 02/19/2012 at 3:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML
by Tay / 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML
by That_guy / 02/12/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Washington) / Work
by truth / 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
by Ouchies / 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Ihaveaheadache / 02/09/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm / Miscellaneous
by abrooks88 / 02/08/2012 at 11:53am / United States / Work
- Today, a bug flew into my eye. Two hours later I picked "sleep" out of my eye. It was all black and… Today, while at dinner for our three year anniversary I told my boyfriend that I believed there was… Today, at work, I was yelled at by a mom for putting gravy on her daughter's mashed potatoes, even…