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samara12's favorite FMLs
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
by Baustigt / 03/28/2012 at 7:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 2:57am / United States / Animals
by Sarah / 03/26/2012 at 7:14am / United States / Love
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Mark Allan / 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by BookBabe / 03/25/2012 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
by PicklesMcRaptor / 03/25/2012 at 7:59am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by LesToiliettes / 03/25/2012 at 3:12am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by lil123 / 03/25/2012 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML
by SHK519 / 03/24/2012 at 9:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…