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samara12

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samara12
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  • Number of visits : 10508
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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samara12's favorite FMLs

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

#19362794
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (2109)

On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9732) - you deserved it (16445)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4636) - you deserved it (24090)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

#19349968
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (5422)

On 03/26/2012 at 7:14am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (23875)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (6382)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

#19344343
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7313) - you deserved it (28358)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2705)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (1661)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

#19342330
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (2210)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:40am - love - by lil123 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (1980)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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