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samara12's favorite FMLs
by Pizzaguy / 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
by apparentlyawomanbeater / 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Transportation
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML
by Katelyn / 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 10:14am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
by Burp / 04/19/2012 at 8:37am / United States / Health
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
by Disgruntled / 04/18/2012 at 3:49am / United States (New York) / Work
by Salvation711 / 04/15/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
by Rory / 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by I hate nasty people / 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Kelly / 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to…