About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.
samabomination's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
samabomination's favorite FMLs
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
by Ouch / 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Overprotected / 06/19/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by skunked / 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML
by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
by Not a day over 35 / 06/18/2013 at 9:06am / United States (Alaska) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:44am / United States / Health
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML
by nomwar / 06/17/2013 at 9:55am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…