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samabomination

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samabomination

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.

samabomination's page activity

Visits<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:35pm<b>caspergirl17</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:33am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:44am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:56pm<b>pnutbutajelly</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:43am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:52pm<b>melinal</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:03am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:55pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:12pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>mellyski</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:11am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:03am<b>ex_omer</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:11am<b>dead247</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:54am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 8:26pm

samabomination's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samabomination's badges

samabomination's favorite FMLs

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39088) - you deserved it (6756)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57946) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43057) - you deserved it (20460)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you deserved it (6643)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (6653)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (8207)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (19414)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54879) - you deserved it (5261)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (3790)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58557) - you deserved it (4186)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (5426)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40658) - you deserved it (2410)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49407) - you deserved it (6475)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (2918)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (13915)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States



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