About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.
samabomination's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
samabomination's favorite FMLs
by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML
by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy
by okeythen / 06/30/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
by dan / 06/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML
by SillyScotsman / 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Health
Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by pumboc / 06/24/2013 at 1:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML
by kittyfiddlernono / 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm / Bulgaria (Pernik) / Love
Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:26am / United States / Miscellaneous