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Offline (the 10/23/2016 at 11:17pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About safaeita : ^^

safaeita's page activity

Visits<b>psychocunt</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:12am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:21am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 1:50pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:53am<b>IcedSapphire</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:01pm<b>RedCronos</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 3:21pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:46pm<b>kzarecor2019</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:54pm<b>AZTEC_WARRIOR</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:28pm<b>lizbeth26</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:55am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:53am<b>amanda1472</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:23pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:50am<b>PurpleVixen</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:18am<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:45pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:30pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:01am

safaeita's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of safaeita's badges

safaeita's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

by horno / 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

by GoldCyclone / 07/11/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

by tulisa / 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

by Shutup! / 10/31/2014 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

by stewardess / 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

by up to no-good... / 08/22/2014 at 12:09am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

by so embarrassed / 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

by mom / 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2012 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

by Rowan Curry / 09/15/2012 at 11:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

by BuspassBob / 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm / United States / Money