saf99me

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Offline (the 11/30/2015 at 7:56pm)

saf99me

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1100
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>athousandmorgie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:30pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:55pm<b>studleydudleyy</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:49am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:25pm<b>cosplaychic</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:34pm<b>sophiilou</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:37am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:40pm<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:48am<b>noisyboy4000</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Atomic_Mushroom</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:49pm<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:07am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:04am<b>lonter20</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Ch_rae5</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>csmiles</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:56pm<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:12am

Fucked!<b>athousandmorgie</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:30am

saf99me's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

by PrettySureItsReal / 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

by MirandaJones / 03/20/2015 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2014 at 2:19am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

by Isa_Marie0113 / 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

by why the fuck would you do that / 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous