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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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saeros01's favorite FMLs
by The fat and the ugly / 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
by Lauren / 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's okay, though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML
by FlyingWhisps / 09/27/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm / United States / Work
Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML
by ouch / 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
by no one / 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…