About sadlarry : Hey guys! Im a very easily entertained teenager that just loves reading about other peoples problems! (Because i dont have enough already) anyway im a very big animal lover and i love my shows that include doctor who, fringe, lost, heroes, and futurama! Im a walking Wikipedia of all those shows so call me a nerd!
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sadlarry's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by dasbooot / 04/30/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
by dontaskdonttell / 04/24/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML
by laxguy23 / 04/21/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by dramaqueen / 04/14/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML
by Sally / 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…