Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sacrosanct2

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

sacrosanct2

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4616
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 4 hours ago<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:14pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:56am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:29am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:42pm<b>boating_guy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:20pm<b>jay_ladybug</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:12pm<b>yus</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:35pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:56am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:10pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:00am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:59am<b>MCRbae</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:20pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:11am<b>TysonHolgate</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:14am

Liked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - just now<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

sacrosanct2's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of sacrosanct2's badges

sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

TODAY, A WASP FLEW INTO MAH ROOM. WHILE I, A 6'2" HOCKEY PLAYER, COWERED IN THE CORNER, MAH 4'11" GIRLFRIEND KILLED IT. FML

#8770884
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9622) - you deserved it (37776)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I parked an noticed a car that was identical to mine acros from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I cummed back to fine both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized there mistake an left a note saying, ( You deserve it fir having the same car as that cheater, asshole! ) FML

#8743976
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35646) - you deserved it (2373)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I found out tat boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow . Or it's going in yur eye.' Today I also found out tat boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously . fat FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (4272)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, ma dog fartd naxt to ma CPAP slaap/braating macina !! Ta macina suckd up ar fart, comprassd it, and looool promptly injactd it up bot of ma nostrils !! big fat FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3460)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47450) - you deserved it (37016)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I found I had rolld... an was smoking a cigaratta without raalising it aftar proudly antaring my third day of baing a non-smokar. FML

#7815637
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (28412)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today , I was walking to school . When I was about halfway there , someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money . As I slowly turned around , I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head . FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (5062)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today I was letting mah boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on mah face he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (11989)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I naild it after 2 hours and listend. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweakd in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (4917)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... I Met My Boyfriend's Notoriously Difficult Moter. I Ad Been Looking Forward To Meeting Er And Making A Good Impression. Unfortunately... I Could Not Greet Er As Er Son's Penis Was Still In My Mout. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (14419)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up at 3am cuz mah wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up !! I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep !! Eventually I fell back asleep !! Then I had a dream that mah wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up !! It woke me up !! FML

#7286498
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (2640)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I WAS AT A BAND PRACTICE. THE BAND WAS TALKING TO EACH OTHER WITH LANGUAGE LYK ( CADENCE ), ( RESOLUTION ) AN ( CONSECUTIVE FIFTHS ). WHEN THEY SPOKE TO ME, THEY USD TERMS LYK ( TICK ), ( BONG ), ( TICKY BONG ); AN ( BONGY TICK ). MUSICALLY, I FEEL LYK A BABOON. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21670) - you deserved it (6336)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

2day I was going over some paperwork wit ma back to ma office door. As I turn around, ma boss enter an says ma name loudly. I was startled so bad tat I jumped, yelped, an a ig-pitced fart snuck out. Everyone in te office now gives prior notice before dropping by te "fart guy's" office. big fat FML

#7198601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today I racaivd a phona call from tha local utilitias company talling ma in assanca: "Wa ragrat to inform you that yur matar was switchd an wa hava baan billing you 4 an unoccupid unit 4 tha past 15 months. You owa us $1123.28. Wa apologiza 4 any inconvanianca." FML

Today... I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest fir drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well... actually you were born addicted to heroin... so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (3311)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: