sacmaster

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sacmaster

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1956
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sacmaster : Whoever's reading this...hello!! I'm glad and honored that you chose to spend the past 5-10 seconds of your life viewing my profile. I hope it was an enjoyable experience :)



But really, I'm just a man who loves an fml induced laugh while on the shitter, particularly by way of the comments section.

sacmaster's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:46pm<b>MdMan3</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:59pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:37am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:15am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:49pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 3:59pm<b>ultimatebobness</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:07am<b>RandomHavoc1</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:13pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 6:31pm<b>akballerchicity</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:41pm<b>TheNelson3</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 4:50pm<b>alex_the_lion</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:38am<b>TheTacoSlayer</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:59am<b>cammy_delo15</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:25pm<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 8:19am<b>LoPnado9</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 12:42am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:56pm<b>SheBeNeNe</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 5:32pm

Fucked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:59pm

sacmaster's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of sacmaster's badges

sacmaster's favorite FMLs

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

by Brenden / 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

by DrewK / 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

by Locked Out / 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm / United States / Animals

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

by Sean / 05/01/2013 at 12:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

by NiquetChrome / 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

by pot, meet kettle / 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health