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sLap

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 61596
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sLap : i like to party.

sLap's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 8:28am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:18am<b>Allusivness</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:25am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 1:52pm<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:05pm<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:10pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Wer3Wolf3</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:42am<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:16am<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:33am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:00pm<b>anonym0u5</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:24pm<b>odod777</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:57pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:43am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:05am<b>anonym0u5</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:24pm

sLap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sLap's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

by nutrigrain123 / 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML

by Pokerking98 / 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

by Obee / 04/14/2009 at 10:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

by poolboy / 04/14/2009 at 4:51am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy